Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Gujju Names :)


       Since I'm a Madraasi-Gujarati, I feel I'm quite authorized to poke fun at both Gujjus as well as Mallus. The former would fume and yet forget and forgive and still invite me over for tea, while the latter will immediately call for a strike and plaster my mug-shots all over Kerala, communist-style!
       Anyways so I meet this lunatic senior of mine from NIFT. And we get talking on FB. As usual our conversation starts from something nonsensical and ends up equally nonsensical.
       But wtf, we and perhaps, perhaps not, the others who were reading, had fun on the way. 

       This below is Gaurav's status post:

"How do Gujaratis name their kids as per their economic conditions?
"NO-esh" " LOW-esh" "SUM-esh" "LOT-esh" "FULL-esh"

To the above both of us keep adding random gems manufactured in our creative (rather defective) cerebrums.

What if the boy is handsome and rich?.........................."HOT-kesh"
What if the boy is a non-vegetarian?............................."MURG-esh"
What if the boy is obese?................................................"SUMO-kesh"
What if the boy is a drug addict....................................."DRUG-esh"
What if the boy is a Bomb with a Bong father? ............"BOM-kesh"
What if BOM-kesh phat jaaye?......................................"EXPLOD-esh"
What if  BOM-kesh is a Hindi teacher?...................."PHUT-kesh"
What if the boy is an NRI? ............................................"VID-esh"
What if the boy is a Civil Engineer? ............................."BRIDG-esh"
What if the boy is has a French mother?.......................Simply "FR-esh"
What if the boy is a sailor?............................................"SEA-kesh"
What if the boy has gastric problem?............................"PURRR-mesh"
What if the boy is a wigmaker?............................................"KESH-kesh"

       Readers of this nonsense are free to contribute many more such useless trashy gems of nincompoop-dom!!!
       I'm also hoping that someone will give us a patent on all these names and that parents will definitely ask me for much-needed advice before naming their babies!

7 comments:

Rachit said...

interesting :)

Ankush Agarwal said...

What if the boy is in denial?

NAI-nesh

Shilpa Nair said...

@rachit - :)
@ankush - hahaha

akanksha said...

Lol! :D:D

dreamer said...

Good one :) Don't even get me started on Marathi Surnames though ;)

Jaidev Jamwal said...

whats the obsession with "ESH" ? Gujju names seem to have a really small pool this way. Which community uses bhai ? Parsi ?

What if boy keeps expploding? BOMB-Bhai ?

i know. know. lame attempt.

Shilpa Nair said...

@JJ - Lol. Just like they suffic 'appa' to the male names in karnataka and Coorg!! The 'bhai' and 'ben' is also used by the Gujju community. It is all fine until they introduce their spouses or call them in front of other guests with a 'Shilpaben' or 'Arjunbhai'....Lol...Again in Kerala the husband is addressed as 'Cheta' or 'Eta' which also means 'Elder brother'.....I think this form takes root because in certain communities, the children of a brother and sister can marry each other. But children of 2 sisters or 2 brothers cannot marry.